I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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