But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i drank out of a bidet.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
