I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
