Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize