gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
