Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
