My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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