i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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