We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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