He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
