Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize