OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
