i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
