I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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