We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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