Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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