i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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