we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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