i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
