Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
