is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
