My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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