My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
