i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
