Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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