I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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