i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
