i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
3 2 1 whiskey
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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