you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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