never play flip cup with pint glasses
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
