Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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