I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
