Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
