Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
