I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
