What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
