God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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