I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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