so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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