Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
