Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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