Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
