I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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