After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
