Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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