eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
