So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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