i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
