Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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