Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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