this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize