how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
