hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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