well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
