The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
