He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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