Those balls look pretty dangerous.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
