I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
